May 25, 2006

• god it hurts. chris and i arent friends and it is hurting me alot. he wont even listen to me. i try and try. and he just ignore me. i really thought we had a great friendship and its all gone now. fuck, more tears. i hate that it hurts soooooooooooooo badly. i really do. its just so painful. b&n isnt the same anymore. my life isnt the same anymore. i didnt think i really was a horrible person. sure fucked up, but not outright horrible. not so much that it makes jackie plan and plan trying to hurt me. first with jon and now with chris. it hurts. so damn badly. and i dont know how to make the hurt stop. nothing i have tried so far has worked. *nothing*. and i've been trying. but it wont stop hurting. maybe ill carry this hurt wiht me for the rest of my life. however long that will be. unless i put a bullet into me. that would end the hurt.

  • 7:41 pm
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