February 5, 2006

• 34 Fun Things To Do @ Walmart

  Next time you're there and get bored, try these!

  1. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

  2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

  3. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.

  4. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

  5. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

  6. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

  7. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

  8. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

  9. Play with the automatic doors.

  10.
  Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so
  long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

  11. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"

  12. Repeat Number 11 in the jewelry department.

  13. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

  14. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

  15. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

  16. Put M&M's on layaway.

  17. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

  18. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

  19. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

  20. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

  21. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

  22. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

  23. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

  24. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

  25. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

  26. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

  27. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

  28. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

  29. Two words: "Marco Polo."

  30. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

  31. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

  32.
  Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the
  store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get
  out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

  33. Get boxes of condoms & put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

  34. Hide in a clothing rack, and when people browse through whisper, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

  _{Note: Fil is not responsible for any legal trouble one may get
  into while engaging in the previously mentioned activities. Perform
  these antics at your own risk. Good day.}

  • 8:02 pm
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