Today was fun. Jackie, Freddy, Chris and I went to the Rockaway mall
(havent been there in forever) and just roamed around there. Went to
Target, i finally got the Rent CD. lol I didnt buy anything today. I
tried to return my skirt but they were asses. Grr. ill sell it online
lol Once i get around to it. whenever that happens. We had Arby's for
dinner. hahhaha. Of course it took us forever to figure out  what
to have. LOL ah well. Jackie and i are improving in our friendship. It
was alittle weird today, but I think the talk we had tonight helped. I
feel like we are improving even more. I think we will work it out and
survive. I have alot of faith that our friendship is stronger than what
happened to us. What happened to us was just bullshit and needs to die,
but we are improving and i really dont want to lose her as a friend. It
just will take time to get the trust back, but i do think its coming
back slowly. Which is good. It just will take time. It cant happen over
night but I think its gonna come back. We sat in Arby's forever just
talking and shit. Calling random ppl. Chris, Jackie and I are going to
see RENT lol. although Chris doesnt know it yet hahaha. He will like
it. he said he wanted to see it after it told alittle about it and he
listened to the soundtrack lol. ehh i have a dentist appoint. and maybe
jackie and i will hang out b4 that. Depends on when she gets done with
the college shit. lol. I think thats. Bed time soon. LOL maybe.

So i worked till noon today. fun packing the shit. i even left some
things to be packed there, oopie. LOL ahwell. i had to do 22 garlic
breads so that took time. grrr right now im making coffee and listening
to Rent soundtrack. im getting it today. Today Jackie, freddy, chris
and I are going to rockaway mall. to shop!shop!shop! LOL. we will see
how much i buy. lol. i dont have alot of cash. and i need to go to the
bank now. but i will after i make my coffee. i thought ill update. I
saw Rent yesterday with Shannon. it was fun hanging out with her since
we hardly hang out anymore. That move was awesome. i dont think we
talked once throughout the movie! and if anyone knows us, thats rare
LOL What else? Not too much else is new. I didnt see Jon at work
today:( maybe wed? and wed ill be working floral so i can talk to him
more. hahaha Hes cute, but taken. Ah well. I can still look hahha.
Although that other guy at work is cute too, umm Craig i think his name
is. lol. COFFEE DONE! lol. I love my hair fyi LOL  I think thats
it, leave a comment lol

~Nicole  

I got my hair cut today. Like ChopChop and ALL gone. its really really
really short and straight now lol. not thinned. didnt have that done
today. Next time. lolol. Ugh I have to work in an hr:( Fun. I think im
working with Jamie prob doing nothing. "customer service" Maybe Jon
will be working tho? He seems cool. Shannon's working today too so I'll
see her. She and I havent hung out in *forever* Yesterday when she took
her break at work, i went up to the break room and joined her. lolol
Bakery was empty so I didnt think they would miss me, they didnt.
Tonight I'm not wearing my apron again. I hate it and I'll only wear it
when im working there during the day, not evenings bc its pointless.
lol  I wonder if anyone will notice at work about my hair. lolol I
should get up and get ready for work, but my leg is hurting me so i
really dont feel like moving, but i will in a min or so. After work I'm
meeting Chris at B&N. Maybe Jackie will join us, i just sent chris
a text asking him to ask her that. lol. Depending on what time she
works till and all that. lol. Today my parents are tree hunting lol. I
would have went with them, but i had to work. grrr. lolol. Ah well. I
think thats it. hahaha

and again(if u already said something, u dont have to again):

***If
you read this, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with
a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad. When
you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be
surprised (or mortified) by what people remember about you***

I am much better than i was last night. I have to work today at 4-8. I
wish i could leave at 7 tho. Maybe if I asked I could leave than.
Although thats only 3 hrs and not much, but 4 hours isnt much either.
lolol. I'll see if Jackie wants/needs to hang out tonight. Or maybe
leave at 7:30. We will see if jackie wants to hang out tonight. ugh
this room needs to be cleaned majorly. i think ill do that right
now.  i just want to update really quick saying that i am better
than last night.

I feel like crying. I dont really know why, but I just do. I wish i
could figure out my life. I dont know How to pay for school next
semester. I think I'll be paying back debts till im 80.:( grrowl. I
hate when i feel like this. This wanting to cry, but just cant. i havent felt this way in a long time and its always a pain in the ass to get it out.
But if i dont, it will stay with me for a while. Maybe I'll put a sad
movie in soon. I dont know why this sad funk came over me, it just did
suddenly...grrr  Maybe Ill try and get the crying out. but if i
know it, it wont come out for a while. and when it does, it will be
waterfalls. massive ones at that. :-/ I think i liked it how i felt
before, wanting to physically hurt someone. That atleast will pass with
some punches or something. this wont pass till i actually do
cry. Its not that my life is massivly fucked up. Just the little things
that is making me feel like this. and that i havent cried in a while. Since prob after Quebec. A month or so afterwards. Thats when i last had a good
cry. And that was in the B&N parking lot, texting things to jackie,
flipping out.Complaining about how things got fucked up.This feeling
doesnt have much to do with Jon, like last time, i dont think.I think it has more to do
with life in general and how my friendship with jackie is soo fucked up
now grrr  I want to cry soooo fucking badly but it fucking wont come out!!!!!!! Going to bed now, maybe with any luck, i will cry tonight?

Night

Another day, another morning. lolol Yesterday, I went on the hunt for
the 10th Kingdom at Target and Wally-world, but no luck:( So i went to
Circuit City, FYE, and Suncoast. Found it at Suncoast, bought it at
that place too. lolol Right now I am in the process of having
breakfast. Last night I had some very crazy dreams. I dont even
rememeber half of them, I do remember that one took place at our shore
house, but everyone was there. Weird. lolol. Plus people were there that would never
be there. Ah well. thats life hahaha. What else? Chris will be here in
an hr or so, cause we are gonna watch The 10th Kingdom!!!! And maybe Mr
and Mrs Smith, if we are up to it. LOL. I cant wait to see what he
thinks of it lolol. Should like it. Okay, done with breakfast, so time
to go get dressed. hahaha

Reminder: Download the RENT song as a ringtone, and set as Monica's.