September 27, 2005
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I got my hoodie yesterday!!! Is soooo wonderful!!!!!! lol!! Almost
exactly like the one Chad wears minus the worn look lol!!! If only it
WAS the one chad wore:( muahhaha. anyway. I visted Jackie @ the A&P
last night on my way home from the Shore. than we drove around for a
half hr, chris met us at the A&P and than i had to go home. lol.
Ugh. I've made some decisions last night and I'm gonna try and follow
through with them...we will see. Certain people are like drugs, you
know you shouldnt, but you do it anyway. But I'm gonna stop. Its not
healthy and I shouldnt be doing something that isnt good for me. I
should just look out for myself and no worry about anyone else. I've
decided that I really regret my Quebec trip....it should have never
happened how it did.Actually I really regret what happened AFTER quebec
and hawaii. after the quebec and hawaii trip my life really fucked up.
i should have just canceled Quebec and just went to hawaii and saved my
$$ so i could move out sooner. Now i'm back to square one and i have to
save save save. grrr. ugh Quebec was fun yes and I'm glad i had that
fun BUT shit got sooooo fucked up bc of lies and rumors that no one
would believe me anymore. Even when i was the one telling the truth.
but w/e doesnt matter anymore. Its all shit anyway. My 20th bday is
almost here
thats always goood. Oct 19th!!!! haha. I cant wait. Sean
will be here on Fri (blah). I cant wait to hear HIS opinions on my
life. haha. This time last month i was in Hawaii.... And i wanna be
there now. Cause in Hawaii, I dont have all this drama and shit. But
w/e I will move forward in my life and get past this shit and never
think about it again. I once felt what has happened would be the worst
thing in the world, now i realize its for the best and i once thought i
wouldnt be able to handle it if it happened, but I was wrong and I can
bc it is for the better. i sometimes feel i should just LEAVE bc i need
to get away from the poisen and if i had the $$ i would be on the
next greyhound out. To where? idk but i would figure it out. The poisen
is sooo evil around here and I feel like it is seeping into me. Thats
why i want to get away. But deep down i know that no matter where i go
there will always b ppl like this.Thats it for now.....if anyone actually READS this shit. idk. anymore..
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