September 18, 2005
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I just washed my car. i know i know. i NEVER do that but i needed to.
sometimes when i get really stressed or a emotion really clouds me i
find that i clean. like right now i want to clean the kitchen/rest of
the house. just because. idk whats wrong with me that would make me do
something SOO crazy. lol. its prob also bc my parents wil be home today
so i dont want them to come home to a messy house AND a $200 cell phone
bill(JUST MY END). Thats bc of quebec and hawaii trip..oopie. i called
home wayy to many times on both trips. Quebec to talk to mom and hawaii
to talk to jackie and jon. lol. i tried to be good specially after my
mom practically RAN after me whenever she saw me on the phone..lol I
really miss Hawaii. it was soo beautiful there. i kinda miss quebec too
but too much drama came out of it so idk. I hate drama.
And school
is going to hell(when ISNT it?) my soc class was a bad idea and i miss
having my best friend...:( i miss alot of things. i miss hawaii
and seans' place. i miss waking up to the ocean in the background. i
dont miss puking my brains out tho lol. (who does?) ugh i hate it when
i get in this state where i think of all the shit i miss. it gets me
depressed. ugh shit. i should be doing home work! FUCK. i have essays
due tomorrow for english class!! and i have to redo another one (not
due tomorrow she never gave me a due date LOL). i am siriusly
considering taking a yr off. People do it all the time. I cant handle
this shit. ill take a yr off, work more hrs at the bakery(if need be
get a second job) save, and seee about moving out and maybing saving
for a trip or two. And gram is really scaring me. We had her 80th bday
party on sept 11th. she LOVED it. absolutly LOVED It.was EXTREMLY
happy. haha. and than on tues(the 13th, her bday) she went to the shore
with some friends and they stayed till thrus. sometime between thurs
and fri after noon she called her own house and left herself two
identical messages "hello, im just trying to reach high bridge". SHE
LIVES IN HIGH BRIDGE!!!! idk if my parents asked her about it. when i
talked to her i wasnt gonna. let them handle it. but this woman
shouldnt be living alone! i think she sometimes forgets that she said
shes gonna move out. or she just lies about it and hopes maybe if she
keeps SAYING it ppl will leave her alone? idk what goes through her
brain. lol. Monica is in FL now. lucky. lol. they come home saturday.
Im supposed to pick them up but ill b at the shore since i have off fri
and sat(and took of sun). so mom will pick them up since she has to go
to a party wehre a boy becomes a man. LOL. anyway. there was something
else....nvm ill post that in a protected message lol...thats it for now.~Nicole
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